“The best way to predict the future is to create it”
You are so lucky to have a knack for writing
Goodness aren’t you just lucky that you do what you love
I wish I was lucky enough to do what I love
Luck, luck, luck. If I had a rand for every time someone attributed my life to luck, let’s just say I would rival Warren Buffet’s wealth.
The idea of luck has always made me highly uncomfortable – the thought that a force outside my control would govern and dictate where my life would end up without my consent or go ahead, has always baffled me, could it be because I tend to believe that you don’t get to any place worth going in life by merely being lucky, but rather through meticulous planning, relentless resilience, sheer persistence and of course hard work.
However I do understand the perceived luck that so many people refer to having observed my life, it sure does seem fortuitous that right after forgiving my father’s killer that I happen to stumble into writing, radio show hosting, international interviews and the likes.
I can assure you however that none of the above was luck, the unforeseen from the above was the unexpected media attention I gained from my familys story. I always knew I would be in the limelight but never in my life would I have guessed it would be for something so incredibly personal to me. I shared a rare glimpse into my personal life with my less than 500 FB friends and it catapulted me into International news, this was not luck however as much as I received incredibly positive feedback, I also received floods of negative comments that I didn’t want to even share with those closest to me because I knew they would get more ruffled than I had been.
Just a few of the messages I received said “You f**** wh*** I wish you die” others accused me of being paid and of being a disgrace to my father. Trust me I had no intention of sharing my story after doing my first interview but when people started telling me what an important South African story it was, I realized I didn’t have the right to not share it.
Did this start my career? Of course it did. Now looking back I’m so grateful I have allowed my father’s legacy to be more than a faceless “terrorist” an opportunity very few South Africans will ever be afforded. Did I intend for my dreams to be realized due to this? No. Did I use the opportunities I was faced with to make my dreams a reality? Yes.
I chose to fight through the pain, to give the best interviews I could. I felt naked in front of South Africa and bared my soul but I understood that I cannot let the fear of what people think stop me from living. I am happy to be labelled as “The woman who forgave EDK” it is a badge I proudly carry with my family but before I became that woman. I was still a girl with a dream, a dream I couldn’t put aside because of this new public identity.
I continued seeking jobs in broadcasting and journalism. Repeatedly I had doors slammed in my face and one memorable phone call whereby the employer on the other end said to me “You can’t report the story when you are the story”
Five year old me had a dream. As I grew I had to keep making amendments to that dream, I had to protect it ferociously from a world that told me constantly that I was not good enough to reach for that dream. I had to endure nights of crying myself to sleep after those who cared for me told me to give up and grow up.
Regardless I saw the vision in my mind, I planned for my success, I prepared for it daily. I mimicked those I admired, I read their stories and learned from them. I redefined what the word no meant in my mind, to its new meaning not yet.
The biggest thing I did was take accountability for my own life, I made peace with the fact that I had a tumultuous childhood and had to grow up before my time, that I needed to learn how happiness felt on my own, that I had to let go of the anger that tied me to so many people who had hurt me.
Only after having taken full accountability for my existence did I realize that I had the power to steer my life in the direction I call my purpose. This is when I stumbled upon this quote”
“Luck is when preparation meets opportunity”- Seneca
I have not reached the mountain top, I am still climbing, learning and manoeuvring my way around obstacles. I keep finding new mentors to learn from and help me grow, whether it be through a ten minute coffee, a book they write or just observing them.
When we want to do great things, we cannot listen to the mediocre, because they will find all the reason you are bound to fail. You have to focus on those who are where you are going. The journey is tough but when we keep in mind that “pain is our greatest teacher”. Only then do we realize by overcoming fear that we are actually powerful beyond measure.
Marianne Williamson eloquently said:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
I hope that you to will continue to reach for your greatness in whatever form it may manifest itself
With Love Always