“Some of us think holding on is what makes us strong but sometimes it’s letting go”
Spring has sprung and it is officially time to let go of the baggage and allow new things to grow. I know what you thinking. “Wow she’s really becoming good with the fortune cookie quotes” why thank you if this fails I’m applying to be their head writer.
I digress. Since I last blogged I took a great deal of my own advice and truly decided to stop holding on to things that no longer served my growth. I let go of things, people and “mistakes” that were no longer good for me and it sucked. Goodness me did it suck. However letting go of the physical things brought an unexpected realisation which was, that every physical thing was tied down to a belief I hadn’t dealt with effectively. Allow me to break it down as follows:
• Letting go of the things: I had an unfounded yet small core belief that the things defined my place in the world and that without them I would lose value, social standing or others respect
• Letting go of the people: I believed that if I tried hard enough those people would start to value and appreciate me more. They would “change” *rolls eyes*
• Letting go of my mistakes: This may not be a physical thing yet it manifests in crazy unexpected ways. Holding onto my mistakes justified why I could allow bad business, relationship decisions to continue as a form of self-imposed punishment
“My greatest regret is it took me far too long to learn that if someone wants to leave your life you need to let them go” –Tyler Perry
The one that I feel I need to focus on because it has been my most painful yet greatest lesson in my life so far is to ALWAYS leave the door open for people to leave. Nothing will destroy your sense of self more than a human being who expects you to beg for their affection, loyalty or love.
As a woman I have in many ways unconsciously been brainwashed by society to believe that if you a good “woman” you make it work no matter what. You ride or die to the end regardless and you put everyone else before yourself.
These past few months I said “Fuck It” it is my God given right to be happy and to have a healthy self-esteem without needing external validation from friends, colleagues or lovers. This has changed my entire life immeasurably, when you realise everything you need in order to be happy and successful is within yourself you stop looking at life as a damsel and you become your own hero.
This may appear as though its fully focused on romantic relationships however it is based on learning to choose YOU and letting go of everyone, thing or belief that doesn’t allow you to bloom into the greatness you were born for whether that’s a job that makes you miserable, friends who struggle to be happy for you, societies expectations on how you should live your life. LET IT GO
It’s an overused phrase however you only get to do this life thing once let it be on your own terms if you want to go climb Kilimanjaro do it, if you want to let your freak flag fly do it, Be happy you deserve it. Let me leave you with my favourite poem by Charles Burkowski
your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
With Love Always