Sex Oh Sex

Sex Oh Sex

“We are all here because somebody had sex! Everybody should relax a bit”

-Peter Dinklage

This year I swore off New Year’s Resolutions and decided to make myself one promise. To be fearless and brave, now many of you who know me personally and those who have followed my social media would know that I am have strong opinions on pretty much everything. However like most opinionated people I have some topics I steer clear from whether due to not having enough knowledge on a subject or out of pure fear.

All of that being said, I’m finally ready to talk about… *Drum Roll*…..  S E X! I know there is no way my heading tipped you off and I also know many of you didn’t take valuable time out of your day to come read me waffle on. So let me jump right in

I was sitting in a quiet little café taking in my surroundings when in walked a mother and daughter, chatting cheerfully to one another.  To my disappointment they decided to take the table right in front of me blocking my view of civilisation, so I did what most people do and started pressing random buttons on my cell phone going in and out of Facebook and Instagram.

After a few minutes I was ready to get the bill when all of a sudden I heard the teenage girl say to her mom

“I’m going to have sex with him”

I put my hand down, sat back and shamelessly listened to what was happening in front of me.

Her mom responded with “Honey, I respect your decision but when it happens. It has to be amazing for you, romantic, fun, special all those things are you sure Ryan can make it all those things?”

I almost choked on my coffee for a number of reasons and allow me to break them down:

  1. The one time I tried to speak about sex to my mom I got smacked so hard I nearly landed in China – so the fact that her mom was so calm, took me by surprise and made me give her a mini standing ovation in my head
  2. I couldn’t help but think to myself, my goodness superman couldn’t make all those things happen let alone poor Ryan

I digress let’s get back to the story.

“Mom I love him and we ready” she responds

I look at her and notice her innocence she couldn’t be older then seventeen, she sweeps her hair out of her face and continues

“I’m telling you because you said I should, I know what I’m doing.” She continues defensively

The mom playfully says “You know how to have sex? “

They both burst into laughter

“Mom I’ve seen enough shows. I mean Game of Thrones even”

I almost burst into laughter, but contain myself. I stand up pay the bill and leave all whilst thinking to myself “Oh girl, if only you knew”

This is what has brought me here today, I was a late bloomer in the sex department choosing to lose my virginity at twenty-two, now the reason I’m pointing out my age is that by that time I was a fully-fledged adult and made the decision with sound judgement and no teenage hormones running around.

Now I need to point out that the sex myth young women are sold is a LIE that we need to stop. My first time I didn’t have angels singing, trumpets playing and the amazing feeling everyone had gone on about. It sucked and it was awkward absolutely nothing like on tv or even Game of Thrones

When I spoke to all my female friends we all came to the consensus that your first time is not some ecstasy filled roller coaster it’s more like being told you getting a Bugatti and ending up with a bicycle instead. Big on promise, bad on delivery.

I wish someone had told me, so that I wouldn’t have felt ashamed and guilty for absolutely hating it the first time.

Thank goodness for the saying “If at first you don’t succeed try again” or else many a woman would be closed for business.

The reason I wanted to write this blog is because I’m tired of the taboo around sex. Painting it to be some sinful, awful act that’s punishably by the burden of judgement that is carried in the form of labels placed on women.

As women our bodies are forced to endure a lot, from your periods, to child birth.

I say at the very least we allowed to talk about enjoying sex without fear of being labelled a whore by society.

We need to speak about sex, not as some dirty act but rather as a beautiful dance between two consenting people. I’m not promoting promiscuity, I am however saying its time women take ownership of their bodies and allow themselves to enjoy sex without feeling ashamed.

A few points I will end with:

  • Let’s be realistic, no your first time is not going to be anything like you read in some romantic novel or saw in Game of Thrones. Its uncomfortable at best however it does get better so fear not.
  • Your body is a fortress, so respect it. Don’t give it away to every man that wants it, give it to the man you feel is worthy of it
  • Never ever EVER have sex because you feel pressured or are looking for validation it will be empty and you will feel crap after
  • You allowed to have fun, why else would you want to do it. It’s a human need just like air, food and water, just because you a woman doesn’t mean you don’t need it

Please note this is just a post to change how we view women and sex


As always feel free to comment


With Love Always

Candice Mama

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